3. Purple Nylon Underpants
“Don’t you think we need to talk about what our respective responsibilities?” Tom asked.
“We can talk about that later, if it happens. From what I hear, it takes a long time, especially at this age. I’ll call you soon. When it’s really time.”
“Linda — one thing.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s got to be antiseptic.”
“Of course.”
“You have to realize I’m involved with Barbara. A long time ago, when she and I talked about living together or marrying, I told her my one roadblock was that I wanted to have a kid. We tried. But it’s obvious that nothing is going to happen. She’s beyond that physically. She once even told me, ‘Well, do it with Linda. But just don’t sleep with her.’”
Within a day of our conversation, I thought for sure I saw spin on the cotton center of my purple nylon underpants. I dialed his number as soon as I got home.
“Hello. This is Tom. I’m not home right now. Please leave me a message.”
“Hi Tom. Listen. I see this stuff on my underpants which according to my book means that I might be ovulating very soon. I think this might be the day, but I’ll only be home for an hour and then I won’t be back until 10pm. If you’re willing, you could just drive over and meet me here tonight. And we can do it. Bye.”
This was never going to work. I could see that I was going to ovulate on a totally inconvenient schedule. Tom wasn’t home and I had to leave for my French class.